Thursday, 6 June 2013

Obsolete

Incorporating the 18 obsolete words from the article by Carmel Lobello in Death and Taxes online magazine, available at: http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/195348/18-obsolete-words-which-should-have-never-gone-out-of-style/

Thou bookwright! Honest worker thou art not!
No soda-squirt all day upon his feet!
No curglaff wakes thee to thy morning’s draft,
but gently into day sat on thy arse.
Spermologer, beef-witted in thy writ

that renders englishable witless phrase 
and jirbles tyromancy on thy page.
Thou groakest at the world without true bite
in pussyvan at
resistentialism.
A queerplunger doth labour more than thou,
thou sloth in lunting slouch! Get thee a trade!
Support thy snoutfair wonder-wench with squirrel,
that zafty california widow who
inspires thy drivel! Get thee honest work!




GLOSSARY
beef-witted: Having an inactive brain from eating too much beef.
bookwright: An author; a term of slight contempt.
California widow: A wife whose husband is away for any extended period.
curglaff: The shock felt when one first plunges into the cold water.
englishable: That which may be rendered into English
groak: To silently watch someone eating, hoping to be invited to join them.
jirble: To pour a liquid with an unsteady hand.
lunting: Walking while smoking a pipe.
pussyvan: A flurry, temper.
queerplungers: Con-artists, scammers.
resistentialism: Seemingly spiteful behavior shown by inanimate objects.
snoutfair: A person with a handsome countenance.
soda-squirt: One who works at a soda fountain in New Mexico
spermologer: A picker-up of trivia, a gossip monger.
tyromancy: Superstition of divining by the coagulation of cheese.
with squirrel: Pregnant.
wonder-wench: A sweetheart.
zafty: A person very easily imposed upon
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